24th Feb

Pooped cause the day started at 5am. But I’d say we accomplished quite a bit today. Probably edged in my memory would be the images of the devastation on first sight. To see it on television is really one thing. To be there.. you do not cry but you know you want to. Stalls put up pictures of the waves, signs pleading for your help. They pack up early (7pm) cause business is bad.

The restaurant where we ate today only had 3 groups of customers even though the place was beautiful and the food sumptuous (no Khao Nieow Ma Muang, hardly saw any in phuket strange.. but there was green curry superbly done)

We walked around the shops at night and I reached a point where I didn’t want to buy anything anymore. it was clear we were being ripped off, yet it would be heartless to bargain with them.

There’s so much to say about phuket. It’s definitely a lot more interesting as compared to Bangkok. Strangely.

I’m too tired to go on so here are random thoughts.

- kata viewpoint where we got bird’s eye view of the beaches.
- Cute receptionist. Like greek-god cute
- Frying under the sun by the poolside. + the yucky sensation of my perspiration dripping into my zenny phones
- Getting accustomed to the number of thai female social escorts with male Caucasian, pot bellied men.
- Watching the locals shout “Oi” when an Ang moh tourist rides the bike recklessly on the roads
- Totally blending in and being assumed to be Thai by practically everyone
- Feeling so tired at 8pm I’m going to sleep now

Tmr pops and me shall conquer the beach.

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day 2
i'm now at the beach and i just got my hair braided. i think i look like a lion. the beach is beautiful. they have all these pple working here - like family. they're so desperate to sell drinks, rent out beach chairs. business is bad. the guys here are all tan and nice. what i'm feeling now is probably the best since i arrived in phuket. i'll probably stay on the beach for a while...

there's this one particular guy who helps out at the beach. he's always smiling. he's wearing a tshirt that says 'tsunami volunteer'. it's overwhelming to see all these people, that guy in particular, smile through the difficult times. they probably lost loved ones, they each have a story to tell. but where do they get all the strength to hide the pain? sanuk at its best.

i've been lying under the beach umbrella for 3 hrs already. los lonely boys plays in zenny. i love it. yet i can't wait to go home on sat night. guess if i wasn't sick i'd be embracing the beach a lot more.

when it comes to travelling, i wish i was a guy or caucassian girl cause it's really so much easier. can't believe i finally braided my hair. 500 baht. still gettin used to it.

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so the past 3 hrs. there has been like 30 people walking past trying to sell us stuff: food, drinks, honey combs, musical instruments (!!), clothes, temporary tatoos. i think some of them lost their stalls and they have to resort to street vendoring. i wish i had the money to help all these pple. for the first time in my life i've not been haggin prices. in fact i've been tipping a lot more. uncle joey warned me that there'll be tons of pple playing the pity-me card and we should not go weak because aid is on the way.

yeah right, what aid. it's been almost 2 mths. my thailand..

i wanna come to the beach again tmr. still waiting for my hottie to sweep me off my feet

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last day:

alright.

1 hr before i leave phuket.
sitting at the departure hall. the airport sucks. there's nothing to do here but to people watch.
i left coconut village rather upset for a few reasons.

1. i didn't get to say goodbye to my greek-god receptionist
2. i concluded that going on a trip with a parent has only 2 benefits (you feel protected and they pay for your stuff).

i thought pops and i were on good enough terms to be comfortable travel partners. i guess 3 days x 24 hrs with your dad, even if he's cool, isn't entirely fun fun. i felt rather restrain/subdue this trip. i figured if i was with friends, i'd probably be travelling down to the beach more often, more willingly, hanging out later and doing crazier stuff like riding a motor bike and going to adjacent islands.

there were times when i was quiet and tired but he just kept talking even though i wasn't responding. my dad just doesn't get it sometimes. however, all in all, i think got to know pops more. despite the annoying times, i think we've grown closer.

but this is the last time we're travelling together.

still bumped about not seeing greek-god. still bumped.

the point of this entry is to jot down as much of phuket memoirs before i forget. he trip was a good experience but i don't know how to put it all down in words. it's mish mashed.

one thing i can tell you though- my affinity with this country has grown stronger, and it's strong enough to make me wanna do something here.

today while indulging in my traditional-before-flight-home-foot massage, the lady was telling me how she got paid 30 baht a day in bangkok but now she gets paid 200 baht. 30 baht approx $1.50.

then i thought to myself, maybe when i get sick of working in the corporate world, and not want to go into teaching, i could set up a spa/resort in singapore that employs thai girls and boys. these kids will be taken off the streets/beaches of patong and brought to singapore to work and study. and i'll house them in the resort and ensure no sleaziness.

dreams be dreams.

alright, it's time to check-in. later.

I have managed to be everything that I don’t want to be.

Living a life that does not belong to me.

Printing my thoughts into words here has made people aware of the side that I don’t want you to see.
Weak. Tired. Very much.

It’s not perfection I’m after- you’re mistaken.
Perfect is never good enough.
Happy. Pretty. Very much.

It’s as if the best years of my life have been lived.
Stopping there was ignorant of me.

Can you read between spaces? Do you get what I am trying to say?

Life may not be pretty, but it’s beautiful and I’m going to find it.


This will be my last entry for a long time.
Goodbye good people.
Life is beautiful and I’m going to find it.