Dingy bus station and the five hour long bus ride to come. I can’t remember the number of towns we passed through, but I remember the lakes, woods and hills, tons and tons of them. I put on music. The next time I hear Afterglow, I will be seeing the images of the scenic beauty that exists between Ithaca and New York City.

Maybe it was the excitement of seeing real buildings after two months, but I heard myself gasp quite loudly when I woke and saw us approaching the Hudson River and the nyc skyline. Finally, a city. Finally.

Still on the bus. Crazy jam. Charm calls. “I can’t wait”, she squeals. “Me too!” I squeal back. Reaches Port Authority. Ten minutes of wait, this small white figure appears from a corner. I run to hug my little white friend whom I have not seen for almost seven months. And though many things have happened to both of us these past months, (maybe more for her with farmboy), in the next three days, I was glad to realize nothing really has changed. She, is still little and white, and I. I am still black.

We walk to Weiming’s apartment, which was between 36th and 37th on 6th ave, all these first impressions of nyc flying through my head as we wrestled through the crowd with our gym bags. The one thing that had to strike me, was how cosmopolitan the city was. I knew it was, but I didn’t expect it to be this cosmopolitan. There were people from everywhere, I was quite sure the world was meeting there.

Weiming’s apartment was rad and weiming himself is a really generous and awesome guy. The rest of the night was spent at a Malaysian restaurant (where I almost cried when I saw the soya bean with grass jelly, chicken rice, prata, char kway teoh, and prawn mee, let’s not even talk about my emotions when I ate them. So drama, but I kid you not), coffee at an Italian café, vegetating in front of the 72 inch LCD TV watching winter Olympics, the last 3 episodes of OC season 2 again, and ABC news that had a reporter broadcasting live just a few blocks away from where we were about anthrax being discovered around that area.

Saturday, the wonderful juniors came from upenn, vassar, and amherst. We had korean food (you'll soon notice that i only ate asian food over the weekend) did some shopping at H&M, walked around Times Square and all the other touristy places, didn't get to see the naked cowboy so i will make a special trip back for him, chilled out at starbucks (one on every street it's madness), and while all these happened, everyone was gracious to becky who was in nyc for her first time, and while all these happened, i tried to take in as much of the hustle and bustle cause i was returning to another 2 mths of the simple life, and while all these happened, i couldn't believe that i was walking the streets of nyc with charmie, nyc had to become my favorite place instantly, how not to?!

ac night was small-scaled, but it was still lovely to meet with other older and probably wiser acsians. they were pretty hilarious if you ask me, telling us stories of their time, that involved mainly lim han soon, everyone's favorite principal. after the dinner, as we walked to the bubble tea shop along chinatown, we sang the acs anthem, caleb the loudest, every-morning-assembly-choir-sings-style.

karaoke, what can i say? how could singing english songs be this crazy. i saw the other side of yp, and realize how much martin wants to be a star. i had much fun screaming my lungs out, for it has been too long.

we returned to the apartment, and xbox-ed for the next 4 hrs - fight night, and nba. i thrashed martin with muhammad ali and as much as he thinks that he had let me win on that one, the truth is, i really am good with my computer games.

in the morning, i woke to the sounds of cars horning and police sirens, and to the sight of high rise buildings and skyscrapers. it was lovely to wake up to a city. ashley and yp left earliest and as i hugged them goodbye it dawned upon me that my nyc weekend was drawing to a close, everyone was going back, i would probably only see them again in june if i was lucky, and i was really sad. frankly my dear, i wasn't looking forward to going back to ithaca. just too many reasons to stay on, and i would definitely have if not for circumstances.

we had dim sum at this hugeeeeee and i mean like hong-kong gangster huge restaurant. it was so crowded we had to share a table with ... Singaporeans! we sniffed them out the moment they approached our table. the world is too small. i told you the world gathers in new york!

caught the subway back, my jacket smelling of dim sum. gross, but for once, i didn't mind the smell. rushed like crazy so that everyone could catch their trains/buses (martin and caleb missed theirs tho so we ended up playing more xbox while waiting for our 430pm buses, and weiming said i was like a boy cause i liked to play xbox so that makes 2 boys charm!) said a rush goodbye to charm, hopefully i'll get to see you during your spring break babe.

navigated to port authority on my own. i was so proud of myself when i found it! it is easy to get around nyc cause the entire city is a grid. port authority is rather scary with many scary looking people who are looking at you scarily. then, to further test my level of independence, i got separated from viv, harsha and chrisitan, and ended up taking the express bus back alone to ice cold ithaca, but it wasn't too bad.

the weekend was over.

i wish i could capture the sights, smells, and scents of nyc as the good writers do, but i didn't/couldn't do that. 1. there's just too much that words can't encapsulate (excuses..) 2. i'm not a good writer so i don't have to do that.

i just ranted the longest entry probably ever, and i'll justify that by saying that it is because this weekend was the best weekend i have had since i came to the states.

i promise you, new york city, i'll be back











Happy is a yuppie word//Nothing in the world could fail me now//It's empty as an argument//I'm running down a life that won't cash out

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

The craziest African politics class just took place. I had to write about it.

We were talking about this article by Makau Mutua, and essentially, he talked about this concept known as “savages-victims-saviors”.

“…Mutua examines how the Eurocentric nature of the (human rights) movement is embedded in the grand narrative of human rights as expressed through the triple metaphor of “savages-victims-saviors.” The savage, or human rights violator, is typically a non-Western state, but as states are merely the expression of their cultures, it is really the culture that becomes stigmatized. The metaphor of the victim is the driving force of the human rights ideology, but by focusing on victimization and powerlessness in the face of endless atrocities, the movement ends up dehumanizing the individuals in the oppressed society. Mutua reserves his harshest analysis for the metaphor of the savior, which is invoked by the actors—the UN, NGOs, Western governments, and charities—when they “rescue” victims from savages. But as human rights discourse is so often annexed to the advancement of liberal democracy, free markets, and Western culture, the human rights actor is really the latest in a lineage of European dominance that includes the colonial administrator and Christian missionary.” http://www.law.harvard.edu/students/orgs/hrj/iss16/booknotes-Human.shtml

This got a lot of kids in the class upset. Most of them were members of Amnesty International and other human rights advocating groups. They have been brought up in a culture that told them they have the responsibility to “help” the less fortunate. Hence, to have someone come in and tell them that all they have been doing thus far is hypocritical and of little help to actually improving situations, it was upsetting for them.

So they pointed it out, that the author obviously had no idea what he was talking about.
Quote: “They (the ‘poor and unfortunate’) come to us for help. They are the ones asking us for help!”

Peyi (the very cool prof from Nigeria) got twitchy with all the loaded comments some of the white kids were making; the more they said something, the more loaded and ignorant they sounded.

Then they went on, “he made us sound like we’re white suburban kids who are rich and hypocritical and that we place ourselves on this pedestal when we help.”

Which resulted in “pssf”s and “whatcha, it’s true?!”s from the other side of the class (the Carribeans, African Americans, Asians, and, the prof).

The classroom was in a frenzy, everyone trying to make their point. Then suddenly, amidst all the fury, Joey (from Bahamas) looked at me and said, “wait, this debate is being divided on racial lines,” and I thought “woah wee!!! another U.S classroom conflict (recall episode 1: Feb 8)”

This whole thing has got me thinking, and conflicted. I don’t think the West is the only culprit of the SVS syndrome. We in Singapore, probably the most “privileged” of all the South East Asian countries, is starting to inculcate and indoctrinate this idea of “helping the less privileged” around us too in schools through CIPs. More often than not, the “we should help them cause they are victims” doctrine is seen plaguing our media, so how does that make us any different?

Also, I’m beginning to look at Oprah from a different perspective too. It’s so upsetting that I am cynical now! I mean, her entire show is founded on the basis of helping others, “angel” network, wildest dreams come true. And most of the time, all the glory goes to her, instead of focusing on the problematic situation, it is rather scary. I don’t know man, I’m still figuring this out. At the end of the day, she IS running a business, so what are her underlying motivations behind this nicely wrapped goodwill package?

What do i always say, what do i always say, Ignorance is Bliss.

the weekend was spent rushing an article on 9/11, running out of the room at 11pm when the fire alarm rang and everyone from garden apartments 27 was out in the cold in their pjs wondering who was the culprit who burnt pizza in their microwave, trying to study at campus centre for 4 hrs but very difficult cause dj artie k was sitting just 6 feet away from me and he was there the whole 4 hrs, watching viv put up a splendid performance at vagina's monologue at park auditorium. and now, i'm looking forward to going to church tmr morning, to listen to God's word through Pastor Steve, who has been so kind he even wrote us a personalized letter, and going to the mall, to be in touch with civilization, even if it's going to be only 3 hrs, and have some chinese food from our favorite chinese food stall so i can speak some chinese. this, life in ithaca. love it or hate it.

things will be different when i come back.
and i wonder if things would have been better
if i had just shut it.

sing me something soft sad and delicate or loud and out of key sing me anything

if there's one thing (besides cny, fun o rama, sbbc's cantata, bkkfest, and the many 21st birthdays) i really missed out on by being 15152 km away from home this time of the year, it would have been the not one, but TWO 27ths acjc council gatherings that took place last week.

but you know, i'm just glad that 3 yrs on, this big a group gathered.
it is really nice to know :)

ignorance is bliss.
or tell me otherwise.

all you need
are those four chords.

The weekend.

First thing I told Ruth when we woke on Friday was, what? It’s Friday? Whaaat. It’s almost mid Feb and soon March. Hey, I’m not complaining, but it’s really fast.

After classes and quiches at the dining hall, walked down to Wegman’s in the sub zero degrees weather with CJ and Marie(normally we have to take 2 buses to get there). It’s so much better when you walk. You get to see the houses along the streets, get some exercise, you don’t have to go round and round in Tcat, and you save US$1.50. We ran into K Mart, Staples, Dollar Tree (fast becoming my favorite store), and Barnes & Nobles along the way. Stocked up my groceries with nothing but microwavable dinners and Ben & Jerry’s 2 for $6.

Was ordered by CJ to get prepped up by 8.15pm for our pre party party. Yeap, he ordered. Being 26, he gets to be the father of the group. Took one hour longer cause I had to do web conferencing with pops, for whom I had not spoken to for a week. I wasn’t really stoked about the party. Guess a lot of it was apprehension. Not a serial clubber in Singapore, or not a clubber at all for that matter, I was nervous about my first American college party experience. I wanted to go just to check it out and to be an observer, not because I wanted to party party.

So we went. The seven of us squeezed into a cab the size of a sedan, made a mistake of forgetting to wear socks so my toes were dead by the time I reached the apartment.

Dark, booze, pot, making out, wierdos.

Now I can check that off my list of things-to-see for I don’t intend to go to another one soon. It’s not my place, the coffee house is.

We walked back to campus from the apartment, and by the time we completed half a mile in the subzero weather, my thighs froze to death too. We spotted more deer tracks and a group of kids traying down the traying slope. No one has done traying since we got here cause there hasn’t been enough snow but last night it was pretty snowy. Now we just need to buy some good traying trays from K Mart and we are good to go too!

Convinced that the party hurt (or sucked whichever way), we invited everyone back to our apartment to have hot chocolate. We lit a candle, sprinkled some aromatherapy oil (the one Auntie Annie gave me before I left) over the linens and let the Swedish listen to some Jay Chou. By 4 am, Marie was asleep on our couch, and we were all ready for bed.


Woke up at 9am for web conferencing. Mommy wants to write a book! I’m excited about that project. Went back to sleep. Auntie Sally called. I slept talked throughout the whole conversation. Went back to bed. Woke at 2pm. Wanted to go back to bed.

Mr Ithaca. It was nice. The DJ was erm nice. Maybe the nicest in Ithaca so far!

I think we were really tired today. Everyone was restless. We ordered in calzones from D.P Dough and played taboo. Calzones are yummy stuff. Reminded me of naan from Little India, somehow.

Now, I have work to do. I constantly have to remind myself that the grades don’t count, and I shouldn’t being studying more than I am having fun. But then again, I am here as an exchange student, so should studying be a priority? Besides, there is the need to show them the power of Singapore and how we can totally kick their butts. So I don’t know.

Pops told me I’ll probably not want to come home when it is time. I told him that is rubbish cause I think about 10 June 6.25pm a lot and the life to come after that. But for now, I’ll keep that at the back of my mind. I have things to do, and His will to fulfill.

Till soon.

I didn’t like to go to the gym in Singapore. I hated not being able to sweat as much as I would if I ran outside in the nice warm sun that seems awfully unfamiliar right now. Before I forget, here are pictures of the evil side of winter.

Those icicles could kill you.

So, back to the gym. Since I came here, I’ve been spending a lot more time in the gym that I would dream possible in sg. Shame on you if you think I go there to check out boys. Shame on you.

I go to the gym because

1. I get to watch tv. Today (1st month anniversary of being in Ithaca and 30 days since I watched tv) OC season 4 played on one of the teles. Grey’s anatomy on another. I had to choose. OC it was. Season 4. I was so lost! Someone died, who is Johnny? Marissa and family are staying in a trailer. Ryan has a dorky hairstyle. I have a lot of figuring out to do. But every Thursday 9pm you know where I’ll be.

2. I get to run off the emotions. Today (1st month anniversary of being in Ithaca and 30 days since I left mommy) I read an email mommy sent to me. She talked about her greatest desire and that was to see the four of us pursuing and doing well in each of our areas of interests. How to not cry you tell me. So there went my 2 weeks-of-not-crying streak. But after running, I felt a lot better, and stronger, cause all I was thinking of was running the race for Him, and for my parents, and nothing else matters.

3. I get to run off the fat. Because I am not going to come back feeling fat and feeling shitty among the stick skin Singapore ah lians.

Best wishes to all the dear ones getting back their O Level results: Azmi, Dan Osgodby, Brandon, Amanda Lee, Sherman, Pam viva la Bam, I hope I didn’t leave anyone out! God Bless, hugs.

The last time I was featured in a major publication, it was in Straits Times 10 years ago, when our family was featured for a week on healthy living. On Monday, it was the family at Health Zone. On Tuesday, I think it was about Joshua rock climbing and wanting to be spiderman. On Wednesday, it was on Mommy & Ruth at a supermarket and mommy lying about how our family eats healthy. Thursday, Pops swimming and a really cool shot of him doing that. Friday, me and rach with this mascot at the health zone, and they were talking about how I didn’t have my two front teeth.

That was ten years ago.

So imagine my excitement when I found us on a publication, here, in the United States.
It is, rather exciting.




Here's stuff I wrote on a scrap piece of paper I jotted down my thoughts on today. Cause everyday is an adventure.

8 February

Sitting in Green Mountain Coffee Centre. I come here in between classes on Monday mornings. It’s quiet, I love the lady working here, and I get to read. Today I’m reading “Global struggle for human rights”. Country music plays. I sip my coffee. The coffee’s quite bad but I sip it like I like it. I miss my barista. But Yans is on a mission for me :)

Snowed in today. Most snow since we came. Finally, my Nike ACG winter shoes come in useful. And the scarves. And the big black jacket.

Martina McBride’s “In my daughter’s eyes” plays. I wish it didn’t. Cause I had no choice but to think of mommy. And how much I miss her. But I’m here, and she’s there, and we’re creating our realities. And it’s all good.

I’m in class now. And what’s happening right this second is there’s an open confrontation between the students and the teacher. As I write this down, like a commentator following the game, students are shushing the teacher for interrupting them, they’re rolling their eyes, they’re pissed. The class is upset that she has taught us nothing the past 4 weeks and that she has given us all C’s and D’s for our first graded assignment.

They are pissed. I’m watching, and trying hard not to laugh for I find this really amusing. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I should have brought my camera.

Time is up. Everyone walks out pissed. Session will resume on Friday.

hanjoo darling, as you enter taiwan shores, remember that you're missed, but never forgotten. live it up, go in search for jay chou, immerse yourself in mandarin. i bet it's going to be an adventure of your life. love you and always here (via webcam, phone, msn, yay!) if you need a shoulder. we're all in this together and we're all going to emerge stronger. all my heart XX

homework, at last. first graded assignment, shocking. gym, three times. cornell dinner, singapore village. ping pong, chingchong. superbowl, missed. week 4, done. fifth week, excited.

"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

I like the fact that I only have to eat at the dining hall 7 times a week, and can cook myself badly cooked food the other times of the week.

I like the fact that the gym is only 5 minutes away. And at the gym, I can watch Ultimate Frisbee and run on the treadmill with good music in the background.

I like the fact that they serve cookies and brownies and hot cocoa and meatballs everyday at the Terraces, and I can take as much as I want each time.

I like the fact that I can wake up 45 mins before class and not have to rush.

I like the fact that I have made good friends in 3 awesome Sweds.

I like the fact that I hardly perspire anymore.

I like the fact that I have Pandora.com.

I appreciate the fact that the Internet is there at my fingertips.

I like the fact that doing laundry is so much fun.

I am pleased of the fact that news writing here is nothing like news writing under Hedwig.

I like the fact that I don’t have to work as hard as I did last semester.

I marvel at the fact that time flies faster here than any other part of the world.

I live on the fact that when I return home, much awaits me.

I live and breathe on the fact that all things work out for good to those who love Him, to those called according to His purpose.

The list won’t end here :)

Remember Gilmore Girls, and how Rory and Lorelai will go to a town meeting where they debated issues about Stars Hollow, and Patty will be sitting on stage with her fan, and Kurt will make a fool of himself?

Last night, I attended an Ithacan town meeting, where more than a hundred residents, young and old, gathered to debate whether one of their streets should be named after Martin Luther King to honor the great man. Had to cover this event, and write a news article for my news writing class. Two hours, listening to 60 state their case, and many “amen brother,” and “hear hear!”s later, I felt like I got to know the town a little better.

Just today, I was feeling upset about being in Ithaca. I was comparing my current experience with others’ who are in U.S, located in more accessible areas, near malls, shopping, civilization, and equipped with much resources to get around, while I was stuck here in a countryside with all its bucolic qualities.

Plus, it didn’t help that the weather has been gray and gloomy. CJ was saying that this will probably be The Winter. 2 days of sun, 2 days of rain, 1 day of snow/rain, 2 days of snow, the cycle. We might not see the mandatory 2 feet Ithaca snow because of the freaky weather/ global warming. Snow fight! Traying! Not done yet!

But, what if my experience is not one that is meant to be of shopping, food, hustle and bustle, quintessential American experiences? Ithaca is a queer, arty farty town, with people who opposed violently to WalMart coming to town, and with its only Starbucks located faraway from everything else. So, maybe I will get to experience something entirely different. So maybe comparing my experience with others wouldn’t be a wise thing to do, cause everyone’s experience is going to be different.

I’ve been running to every talk I can get to myself too lately. Today I ran to 2.
The first one is a round table event with Prof Kesh and this visiting professor from Malaysia. So there we were, talking about Singapore and Malaysia, exclusively, and this Asian man, so bold, telling the American students that they have not seen enough, and they should get out there, and see things. Woah wee

The second talk was by Chris Hedges, a war correspondent and Pulitzer-Prize winner. He delivered an excellent presentation: “War Is a Force that gives us meaning”, that made me reconsider many things about this war.

With bumper stickers that scream “Ithaca is not George’s”, and the whole of Ithaca College made to read Tim O Brien’s Things They Carried, and other obvious anti-war items seen across town, this town definitely doesn’t support the war, or Bush, which is ironic cause their mayor is a Republican.

You know what the funny thing is, I never cared for American politics. Well, I still don’t. It’s just hard to avoid this subject cause it is so intertwined into the peoples’ everyday lives. Different from back home, very.

Aunt Mini just called and asked me when I’m going over to New Jersey and I said 11th Feb. I wish I had a car.

I tell myself to document the daily events. But sometimes words are hard to come. Still, it has been good, I promise you. Made a big mistake of calling the folks and crying to them on cny cause it was tough. I think mom is getting sick of me being a baby. So, i shall grow up. And show them that I can grow up.

Four Weeks. I think I can do seventeen more. Through Christ, who strengthens me.