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the slippers, skirts, frisbees, picnic mats, skateboards, shades, they're out, and everywhere.

it's spring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's spring it's spring it's spring.

all we do now is sit, outside. it's amazing what seeing the sun can do to one's soul. and if the snow never returns, i can promise to be a really happy person.

yesterday was dvd night: walk the line. hello, i am johnny cash. but i really didn't think it was an oscar winning performance for witherspoon. today was ddr night at the pub. albeit only 3 rounds, it made me think about our ddr days at seng yan's house, and how we tried to get like 90 combos with butterfly. maire beat me, which was embarrassing cause ddr is an asian invention! just finish watching crash. a fave for now, got to be. next week is F.L.E.F.F (Finger Lakes Environmental Film Festival) here at Ithaca college and Ms Draper's Bachelor Farm is playing! it's going to be a whole week of watching films in classes, it's going to be great.

it's amazing what the sun can do for one's soul.

and to my dearest dearest friend in pou, i hate it that i can't get my butt down there. i hate it. i want so much to give you a hug right now. but all I can give you is His words of love, because that is all I know. i love you love you love you and the mantra, things will get better. starting with you kicking butt on the field this saturday :)

from my baby sister's blog:
i remember my dad dancing to a pussycat dolls song and telling me who the lead singer is when mtv was on. last time i checked he's 52. look who's keeping in line with his kids. haha

my daddy rocks my socks.

a world that's bright and gay.

29 July 2006

FAIRFIELD PAST VS PRESENT 2006

Mark it on your calendar now and make sure you keep it free!!!

“….for there is no want, to them that fear Him” Psalms 34:9

the countryside

pancakes, with syrup by the side, children chop firewood, sugar shack a family tradition, maple leaves and wet mud, tree house and the meadow, gorge at taughannock falls, prof kesh telling me i'm still a little girl - saturday.

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suitcase.

Things you end up doing when your mom is not around

1. eat ice cream from the tub
2. have chips for dinner
3. not take a shower every day
4. put on un-ironed clothes and try to press them down as you walk to class
5. eat the expired fish in the fridge, anyway
6. sit in front of the laptop, watch 5 episodes of grey’s anatomy at a go thanks to netflix,
and eat crap for dinner.
7. eat crap for dinner.
8. eat chocolates just before you sleep
9. remember everything she has taught you
10. and try your best not to let her down.

i'm on a music high. let me tell you what i'm on

1. joe purdy: suitcase
2. wilco: hummingbird
3. rilo kiley: i never
4. ben lee: catch my disease
5. get set go: wait
6. the radio: whatever gets you through the day
7. am 60: big as the sky
8. maria taylor: song beneath the song
9. joe purdy: the city
10. tegan & sara: where does the good go

shadow proves the sunshine.

Watching John Q + having two of Peyi’s classes = too many revelations for a day.

John Q: the truth behind the healthcare system here.
Peyi’s class: Castro, Cuba, Operation Mongoose, Sabotage and Power// South Africa, Apartheid, TRC and all its crap, the human rights movement and how it resolves nothing.

Each day here reveals more of what this country is. What it really is.

& just cause i really miss hugging them, and starting to forget how that feels like,

give your folks a hug today, cause you can.

sparkle me.


tonight, we watched a special screening of occupation: dreamland.

the director/editor, ian olds was there, to discuss the film. unfortunately, his co-director, garett scott who was slated to come too, passed away three weeks ago. i respected ian, for his courage to continue with the tour despite the loss. it was pretty amazing to watch a film, and then have the creator talk about it. i couldn't have walked out of the theatre unmoved; the undeniable power of films. i find it such a pity that i can't appreciate the process enough to be willing to devote the next two years to filmmaking training. the love to tell stories is still there, just have to do it through other means.


running further away from You. and it doesn't feel good.

modest mouse/ broken social scene/ buffseeds/ anna nalick/ belle & sebastian/ buffseeds and buffseeds and buffseeds.

but i never never never never never never never never never never never, met you.

but I just can't quit

just finished watching hardball. i was sobbing the whole of the last part.

tears, choking, the whole affair.

it's all these walt disney formula sports drama kind that gets to me.

but more so, many of the scenes reminded me of my own experience with the boys: the exhilaration when we won a game and we were screaming through farrer park, the hope in their eyes so bright they sparkle, the agony when a game is lost and wanting to cry along with them, getting a kid to do his work because you know he is smart, but the pride, the pride, you can't help wanting to smack him on the head, standing in the middle of 20 kids, racially divided, and breaking up fights, walking a kid home as the gang waited outside the school gates for him waiting to get him...monumental times

sometimes, i wish i could be back there. to keep telling them that they are worthy, even if the whole world tells them otherwise. hearing bad news about some of these kids now getting into trouble with the law, it breaks my heart and i wonder what i could have done more.

i miss them so much.

and everytime i watch the videos and look at the pictures, i just pray that they are happy, and safe, and that we'll meet again some day.

see them in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imSXEBhqS3I

anthems for a seventeen year old


hang overed from canada, check out one of their own: broken social scene

i will follow you into the dark

So I had a rough Thursday night/Friday morning. I wish I didn’t have to be a baby, but it was my bad day. I didn’t want to wake in the morning, for the first time in a long time, and I ended up skipping 2 classes to finish Peyi’s paper. Which I did. And the sun was shining brightly for the first time in a long time, I had to go out. Which I did. I was tired. Ever since returning from the crazy 9-day backpacking experience around Canada, and back to work immediately after, and the whole tension that was going on within the group, shit was hitting the fan non-stop // We read People, watched Almost Famous, cooked lasagna, opened a bottle of red wine, made a new German friend, memorized Franz Ferdinand/Death Cab songs, all on a St Patrick’s Day. I thank God for Cj, Marie, Joseph, and Ruth. And georgy :) who tolerate my shite, and make the bad days go away. Day 68, it never gets any easier, but we try anyway.

down, down, down.

i've always dreamt of pulling damien rice to one corner and get him to sing, TO ME!

obviously, spring 2006 is the worse time to not be in singapore.

and as much as i want to be happy for you all who have rocked it out at bkkfest, k.o.c, and all the other shite happening in singapore, i can't, because i'd be lying if i said i'm happy for you!
it stinks! it stinks so much that i missed seeing snow patrol, and singing along to run, it stinks that i'll miss out on damien rice, the ultimate king of emo, whose songs i had on loop and played 36 times every night for a long time.

i can't deal with this.

for the next five weeks, hear me whine.
tormented, tortured, i now lie in bed to mourn.

Tiredness fuels empty thoughts, I find myself disposed, Brightness fills empty space, In search of inspiration, So, I look to my eskimo friend, when I'm down, down, down.

When I graduate, if I don’t go to grad school, I want to work for the government and its communications. I want to get Singaporean youths to love Singapore. Not become a propaganda machine. Not indoctrinate. I want to let the youths see how we’re so lucky, lucky lucky lucky, and how we should not take our country for granted, and how we should love it now, before all these good things are taken away, and we regret. I want to do all these, without coercing. Allowing them to fall in love slowly, not become patriots, feeling the need to defend something, just lovers. So many reasons and ways to love, the question is how to show it and how to do it. But this is the plan, and if the plan doesn’t work, there’s always grad school, and plan B. plan B is pretty exciting too. Is this Your will for me?

never failing to always surprise me, yans you almost made me cry

it's back to school and dining hall food. 16 page essay analytical essay due on friday and i haven't even started. i had web conferencing with gerald on tuesday and it was a riot. boy do i miss him. talked to val last night. boy do i miss him too. heard news that azmi made player of the tournament at some sevens thing and i can't be any proud-er of this boy. 3 boys in one paragraph, all the loveliest people, but i currently know of one that absoultely stinks and i hate him for making me feel this way, always. still, life goes on with or without his existence, and life goes on well. another incoherent entry; the beauty of blogging.

spring break.


9 days. ontario, toronto, mont treblant, montreal.

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4 March 2006
When the taxi companies said roads might be closed on the day we were slated to go to Canada cause of the snow storm, we weren’t too excited.

But somehow we made it, and I’m sitting here in Buffalo, waiting for the bus into Niagara. We slept through the 5 hrs ride cause we were up since 4 a.m. But during those few moments in between sleeps, when I opened my eyes, glimpses of Rochester and Buffalo consisted of rows and rows of little houses, with chimneys, all shaped the same way; a cemetery that was huge, churches every mile, big box companies littering the outskirts of the town. And snow of course, tons and tons of snow.

***

We saw the mist, from almost 2km away, as we walked from our hostel to the falls. It had to get better as we drew closer; we were screaming and squealing and exclaiming, “No way!!!!” Finally when we came face to face with one of the Seven Wonders of the World, I stood in awe of His creation. It was mighty and powerful, and crazy beautiful. I tried to take it all in but it was far too overwhelming. I tried to anyway. As I write this, the image is still vivid, and I hope it stays with me for a long time.

I always thought The Falls were located somewhere away from civilization, but it’s a complete tourist town. There’s the Hollywood-wannabe Clifton Hill area with all these ridiculous rides. There’s the Las Vegas-wannabe attempt with 2 casinos, both of which we entered and both of which were filled with the extreme rich and the extreme poor. There’s the clubs, which we checked out at night, that were filled with American kids from the New York area who were underage and came all the way to Canada to escape the drinking age.

And countless numbers of limos, pimps and hos.

Truthfully, I don’t know if I was disappointed. I just couldn’t imagine one of the Wonders of the World lying alongside such commercialism. But I guess there’s no escaping the whole tourist thing since people from all over the world are gathering at this one place.

At night, we walked along Niagara Falls one more time. “Look, it’s still on,” CJ said, just as I was about to say the exact same thing. I couldn’t fathom where all this water was coming from. I liked the falls better at night. There was no crowd. Just the rush. The coolness of the mist. The appreciation of its mightiness.

Hostelling International is the organization we would stay in for our entire Canada trip. The last time I stayed in hostels was during the NZ Band tour in 2000. So, this would actually be my first official time touring an area backpacker’s style, and I’ve been liking it. I don’t really mind the communal bathroom, 8 people sharing a room, and creaky stairs. It’s cool to meet other people and get to know a country – camping style. All the years of Juniors’ camp have came in handy.

5 May 2006
After checking out, we went to Dad’s Diner for Canadian-style Sunday brunch, after which we had to run (really run) to catch our bus to Toronto.

***

Toronto’s pretty. It has its fair share of high rise apartments, old architecture, nice harbor, and the ghetto-like places. What struck me was the number of homeless people, wrapped in sleeping bags, lying in the middle of streets of the financial district.

My favorite part of the day would have to be the walk along the lake at Toronto’s harbor front, and when we sat by the benches and drank hot cocoa. Later, we went ice-skating at the rink next to Lake Ontario. And as the Canadian’s say, “it was pretty awesome”.


6 March 2006
We woke to the sounds of church bells. Today was chill out day: we went to Subway for breakfast, bought our bus tickets for the next leg (12 hrs journey!), and went shopping. I wasn’t too keyed for splurging, so a few of us decided to do some vegetating instead.

From Eaton Centre, we past Queen Street to Paramount Cinemas, and was stopped by a reporter along the streets to answer some questions. She said she wanted to interview people from Toronto and I thought it was funny she stopped us cause we were as multinational as you could get.

Favorite part of the day: meeting up with Ian O! We met at Union Station, and it was good to see this track senior and guitar guru after not seeing him for more than two years. He brought us to this bar and grill called Jack Astor’s where they allowed us to draw on their tables. There was much catching up to do.

Later, we took a walk to harbor front (again, cause I like that place too much!), watched people ice-skate. It was chilly. Then we took the street car to Queen’s (like a tram but called the Toronto Rocket haha) and a subway to Yonge’s. Transportation system – not too bad.

First calamity of the trip was to happen. Marie lost her credit card and driving license, which got everyone in a frenzy. Then Ruth had 600 bucks deducted from her credit card when she didn’t even buy anything. Rushed farewell to Ian, but I told him (lied?) (no heh, I’m going to try ok!!) that I will return to Toronto again for session 2.

We were 2 hours early for our 12 a.m. bus to Montreal; changed into pjs, brushed our teeth, and got comfy at the station. Everyone was looking at us, but hey, we have an 8 hr bus ride. I was beginning to really like traveling, backpacker style. And good news, Marie’s cards were found at the bus station, and those buggers returned Ruth her 600 bucks.


7 March 2006

When we reached Mont Tremblant, I started to miss Toronto (can you believe it) the way I missed NYC when I returned to Ithaca. I think I’m too city for my own good, and both times at the city, I met up with old friends so I felt sad to leave all that.

I was lying on my upper bunk bed, everyone was just chatting in the room, and all these emotions just rushed in. So many things; I haven’t talked to my family in the longest time, traveling with people who are different from you thus making the traveling process tough, apprehension of how long the next 3 mths back at Ithaca will be like, and a lot of other unnecessary thoughts. CJ came over, whispered, “Becky, you gonna be alright?” And he let me be, the father of the clan, because we all have our emotional days where we miss our families back home and all and today was my day.

***
Mont Tremblant (MT) is located in Quebec city, French Canada. Everyone here speaks French, the sign boards are in French, you wouldn’t even remember you’re in North America.

H.I at M.T is pretty cool, just like the other 2 we have patronized. The coolest part will be the bar in the basement that plays nice French reggae, equipped with a fireplace, and great French ski magazines.

Today, after paying for our ski equipment and ski lift tickets, we realize how broke we were and it’s only Tuesday! The past 4 days, we’ve been eating too luxuriously, and all the traveling and accommodation costs are starting to burn little but many holes in our pockets. To date, we’ve managed to spend close to 600 bucks each. To punish ourselves, we went to the supermarket, bought groceries, and cooked our own dinner. The total costs of our ingredients to feed 7 - $14, compared to the average $20 we would spend per person at a restaurant. Eugene, always told me to cook my own meals. I should have listened!

Cooking in the hostel kitchen is fun cause 8 other people are cooking at the same time. Everyone from different countries, everyone eating pasta.

Mont Tremblant is a ski village. You have a little community thing going on here, it’s pretty cool. The kids are skating by the pond where it is lighted up at night, the older boys are playing ice hockey, the families driving to the resort with the ski poles and snowboards strapped on the top of their cars.

Chatted with the owner of the ski rental, who has the coolest life. He rents out skis in the morning/night and goes skiing himself in the noon, everyday. During summer, he goes fishing. I also want.

Tonight, we chilled out in the basement and just talked. Everyone was in bed by 10 p.m., the earliest since we’ve been to Canada.

8 March 2006
Ski day. Up and out by eight, I was nervous about my first ski experience. We donned our ski gear, and headed to the mountains.

***
I put on my skis when we reached the top of Mont Tremblant, still nervous. After seven falls and praying to God for my dear life on the steep slopes, I managed to get a hang of the whole skiing thing, but I was seriously freaked out each time I came to a bloody steep slope.

People are really friendly on the slopes. Everyone helps everyone and all I say is, “merci merci”. On my third ride down the green slope, a snowboarder crashed into me from the back, leaving me sprawled and shocked on the last exit slope where everyone was racing down to finish the course. All I remember is scrambling to the sides as fast as I possibly could, and though the boy was totally apologetic, I wanted to smack him for almost killing me.

Went to the café, picked up 2 cups of juice, 1 cup of hot cocoa, sat by the open fireplace and people watched. The Mont Tremblant ski resort is quaint and cute. Just below the slopes were cafes and little houses and all around are skiers and snowboarders walking around awkwardly with snow boots.

I was really pooped by the final attempt on the slopes. My hands were so tired and my hips were dead. But it was a good experience, and though I’d say no sport would ever beat running or soccer, I’d definitely try skiing again.

Went to the grocer to buy more ingredients to cook tonight. Bonus was cute grocer boy. Canada really seems like a much nicer place than America.

While washing up in the kitchen, chatted with Christine from Australia. She has been traveling around for the past 8 months, alone, and she too felt Canadians were nicer than Americans.

10 March 2006
Day after ski day, I woke up and my body was stone heavy. I’m glad I’m alive but the pain was absolute torture. After breakfast, we cozy-ed into the living room and watched I Am Sam. Such a good movie, even on the second time. It started to snow pretty heavily. We walked around the Mont Tremblant town one last time, got some cashies, food and we were ready to bid the awesome ski village goodbye.

11 March 2006
It’s been exactly 2 months since I left home, and it’s our seventh day in Canada. We’re in Montreal now and Montreal’s sweet. The city didn’t really turn out the way I expected it to be. I envisioned whites and Europeans everywhere (cause everyone said Montreal was like Europe) but it was very very cosmopolitan, a large community of Asians and Arabs, which was nice.

We arrived late last night on the bumpiest bus trip ever. Got some Tikki at the food court and did some supermarket shopping. It sucks when you don’t understand what the labels mean or how the discounts apply cause they’re not in English. But we survived.

It’s gray and rainy today. Still, we were determined to see some Montreal. We walked to the underground city. It’s an, erm, like the name says, an underground city – 350 fast food outlets, 900 shops, subway systems, offices, etc. It was built as a haven to escape Montreal’s bad winter. Everyone walks around without coats, it’s a treat.

Next stop was to check out the harbour cause seeing water’s always cool. On the way, we past St Lauren’s, the dingy part, saw the ghettos, soup kitchens, it was rough. Past Chinatown, and I was just so proud of the fact that there’s one in every big city. Chink power hee ha. Then Old Montreal, was breath taking.

Victorian style archi, red-bricked streets, and narrow pathways. We could see the biodome that was located next to the Olympic Stadium from where we were. It was a pity that the day was gray and rainy, we weren’t seeing Montreal at its best.

Took the metro back to HI. Just like the train stations in NYC and Toronto, the foul-subway-smell lingered. But, Montreal’s train had huge wheels, that’s the difference.

We dove straight into bed, and didn’t wake till 745pm to cook dinner. Probably could have slept till midnight cause I was that tired. I guess it was largely because the trip was coming to an end, and the huge weight of planning a trip, making sure we don’t miss buses, and settling accommodation and all those stuff, the weight was slowly being removed from the shoulders.

We had Marie’s pasta salad and the recipe impressed the other guy hostellites in the kitchen cause they were only having spaghetti with tomato sauce. It was fun watching them cook cause they were all solo travelers from different countries, sharing a room here, and trying to communicate with each other, in gestures and monosyllabic English, and burning spaghetti in the process. It was a fun sight.

I spent the rest of the night vegetating in front of the TV. I knew I was returning to 2 mths of TV-less days, so I had to cherish the technology while I had it. Watched Simpson in French, and L.A. Confidential, the whole movie.

11 March 2006
Sat morning. Technically the last day at Canada. I’m sitting in Starbucks now (wherelse!) people watching and taking in the last of Canada. Second cup of marble mocha macchiato. It’s sunny today. Very pretty. Maybe I’ll go walk the streets later cause there are just streams of streams of people passing me now, inviting me to join em.

***

Went into one of the shops to get a Canada shirt, the only tourist thing I’ll allow myself to do. Chatted with the shopkeeper. He was a riot. Told me he’d wait for me to return to Montreal next year, and I told him to look me up when he goes to Singapore. He threw in a free pen.
***

I’ve been keeping this diary for the past 8 days I wonder how much I’ve said so far will help me remember all that I’ve seen. And I wonder bout the things I did not see. We were only in each city for not more than 3 days, could I qualify as having seen the place?

But the Canada experience was great anyway. It was a good break from Ithaca, I saw things I never thought I would, and I learnt a lot about traveling. This time alone has given me much time and space to reflect about what is to come the next 3 months. I want to be excited, want to live it up.
7 more of weeks of school, we'll see how that one goes.

Take away from meThis monstrosity'Cause my futile thinking'sNot gonna solve nothing tonightAsk me for what am I livingOr what gives me strengthThat I'm willing to die for

for ur viewing pleasure.




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"when the pawn hits the conflicts"

contact me at beckythinkofprettythings@gmail.com